December 01, 2011

Disappointment


Tonight  I am sad. I do.
For many reasons, excluded mellow song and thought of dead or separation.
I am sad. And lonely.
Sitting alone in this room. 
With a cold and flu, writing my blog.
And the urge to hold my tears.
Now I feel trapped.
I used to think, a company or friend or a whole bunch of friends can take the blue out of my day.
Well, mostly I did it.
But not tonight. Laughter will not stay forever.
No.
Nothing will ever, ever, fix this.
And I find it no more comforting to just laugh about things.
Well, I don’t know.
Does it make my night any better if I wrote about my feeling on twitter or facebook?
Does that ease the pain if I talked about it on and on?
Because I find it comforting to just take it all in silence.
Because,… Damn it!!!
It’s harder to put a smile when my heart is shattered.
I bite my tongue to hold tears
How does he think if I know he’s not responding my text?
I bite a little harder
I am shattered
tonight I am sad
And putting a smile on my face is seems like an extra hardwork. L

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