Disappointment

Tonight  I am sad. I do.

For many reasons, excluded mellow song and thought of dead or separation.

I am sad. And lonely.

Sitting alone in this room. 

With a cold and flu, writing my blog.

And the urge to hold my tears.

Now I feel trapped.

I used to think, a company or friend or a whole bunch of friends can take the blue out of my day.

Well, mostly I did it.

But not tonight. Laughter will not stay forever.

No.

Nothing will ever, ever, fix this.

And I find it no more comforting to just laugh about things.

Well, I don’t know.

Does it make my night any better if I wrote about my feeling on twitter or facebook?

Does that ease the pain if I talked about it on and on?

Because I find it comforting to just take it all in silence.

Because,… Damn it!!!

It’s harder to put a smile when my heart is shattered.

I bite my tongue to hold tears

How does he think if I know he’s not responding my text?

I bite a little harder

I am shattered

tonight I am sad

And putting a smile on my face is seems like an extra hardwork. L

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